On Honesty and Full Moons

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I don’t like full moons; they inflate your emotions the night itself and around it and make you do foolish things. When you figure out that something like being fucking honest has never done you any good and agree with yourself over and over again that it better be avoided, you’re not supposed to forget … full moon or not. I opened up in a chat on the 21st, got a grip of myself on the 22nd (the night itself), only to fall back in that silly trap on the 23rd and start beating myself up since for making the same old mistake. What’s bad is that I realize that I did it again from others’ reactions, when it’s too late to keep me from giving myself and my emotions away, even good innocent emotions, especially good innocent emotions simply because they get to be misunderstood. 

How do you cure friggin’ honesty? in the most emotional periods? I don’t care about the good which honesty does to the soul, I don’t want to hear about any of the fucking related clichés and preachings. I want a Sean McNamara and a Christian Troy who perform emotional surgery, don’t ask the ‘why’, only the ‘what you don’t like about yourself’ which I would firmly and seriously answer ‘HONESTY. EXTRACT THE BLOODY THING. FOR GOOD’. The End.

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2 responses »

  1. “Honesty. Extract the bloody thing” hehe I like that.
    I myself have been going back & forth about this issue for years and years. Everytime something like what you described happens to me I “learn” to lose the honesty. Over and over again I unlearn everything and inexorably find myself opening up and the cycle never stops.

    Hey. You don’t wanna hear preachings or clichés and all that crap… But here’s something I learned that I’m not about to unlearn, at least about myself. My honesty’s inoperable. I kept trying to lose it, but it came back. Again, again. And now, I love it. How’s that for a cliché?
    Se, if i were preaching I’d say things like: “screw everyone, just be yourself” or umm i dunno “honesty is character, so keep it”, but i’m not… 🙂

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