I’ve been contemplating closing the old and deserted blog and starting anew for quite some time, but never really did get on it. It’s no surprise at all that I get started during the Eid holidays. I could see the threatening-double-faced quiet time coming since last week, since I resigned to the fact that I am not flying out -more to the point, running away- on a break anywhere near or far. Sinking into good-old denial again, I convinced myself I’d find something interesting to do in this city. Between Time Out Dubai, Time Out Abu Dhabi and Abu Dhabi Weekly, there had to be some hope.
Here I am, at the end of the holidays, officially announcing NOTHING INTERESTS ME IN THIS CITY -OR THE NEIGHBOURING ONE- ENOUGH TO KEEP ME BUSY AND FULFILLED FOR 3 DAYS.
I always blamed the city for this empty feeling and was about to go on whining about it again. After 3 days and long stretches of silence between the lunches and the late evening drinks, I had to sit still at one point, stop the bitching and listen honestly to the voices coming from within, the dreams and the fears, the realities and the illusions.
Yes, I’m bored with the repetition of the same in my life, privately, professionally and seasonally (last especially true to this country); I’m missing the feel of the adrenaline; I’m craving excitement and all that is unconventional; I’m hardly impressed, barely touched, in doubt and in review of values I was handed over; I feel stifled one time too many, sick of having to accept status quo’s for fear of no longer having the time nor the patience to get something and someone better. Yes, I’m considering charity work, a career change -more like a career addition at this stage- and possibly moving to another country.
No, I’m not planning to buy a flashy new car, hit it on with a younger man, become a gym addict or a slave to plastic surgery.
Is it the city or is it my thrisis? Would this feeling be the same here and everywhere else? Reflection can get quite confusing, eh? … it sure is better than racing through life avoiding looking inward though; that last bit is one thing I’m sure of.